Alright, so if I’m practicing writing and thinking here, and no one reads this but myself, this might be an excellent place to get started on a moral inventory. As in, there are people to whom I owe better treatment.
I’m not going to discount the possibility that some of these debts might be mutual, but this is also the last I’ll mention it FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS:
1) How could that possibly matter? This isn’t about monetary debts that can be cancelled out, this is a debt of affection, of behavior owed to another, of proper behavior that I owe to my conception of myself, my conception of the universe.
2) For a brief moment, DO look at it as a monetary debt. Suppose that I owe someone $10.00- if that same person owed me $.75, our debts wouldn’t cancel out. I still owe what I owe.
3) It’s safe to say that my being a better person in behavior and affection will not hurt myself. In the past, it might have. I might have hurt myself- badly- by trying over and over to do the right thing to others that didn’t care how they were treating me. It’s safe to say that that (my getting hurt) now that won’t be the case. So, although in many instances it’s better to err on the side of caution, in this instance that should not be my guiding principle. No harm and much good may come of it.
My mother and older sister in particular are owed better behavior from me. Also my father and my younger sister.
Just sayin’.
By the way, 90 minutes of sober messing with my computer have fixed last night’s problems. All is right with the world.
